Here are some videos of the kids. Some are cool things (like how well CK is reading), others are funny, and all are cute. I have had to toss my cool image out the window, stomp on it a few times, and put on my "SUCKER" hat. Do you even understand how hard it is to keep your cool face while your daughter is inside of a bag pretending to be a puddle? Or what about when your son raps repeatedly, way past his viewer's attention span? Or when the tiny one has green dung somehow traveling up her back and she is screaming? They sure are cute and sweet, though.
This(below) is Tay and her bag. She deleted the original video during one of her many viewing sessions. (She likes to watch herself a lot.) The first one was much, much funnier. She waved her little hands around like a girl screaming cuz she saw a rat, only Tay thought she was a butterfly with a bag on her back. She layed on the street inside the bag and called herself a puddle. And she hopped around pretending to be a frog. Oh, how I wish I had that blackmail cute little video. I had a hard time recording it because I was laughing so hard! Thanks for the stomach workout, munchkin.
There are many, many posts about Taylor Rose on this thing. She is sort of my blog celebrity. Her little life is so much more interesting than the rest of our's. Unless you want to read about my life of hiney wiping, dog herding, and kid wrangling. All in one single day, Tay had done ooooh so many things to get under my skin. The kids always watch PBS Kids in the morning. She intentionally stood on the coffee table directly in front on CK to block his view of the t.v. When he moved over on the couch, she would move over on the coffee table. When he hollered at her, she'd holler back. Let me tell you how much that is NOT music to this non-morning person's ears. So, I put her in her room for timeout (more for me than her). After about 2 minutes, I went in to check on her. She had pulled all of her thumbtacks off of her cork board, maybe hoping to booby-trap me. She had climbed on top of her dresser (which is tall) and pulled everything off of the top - all of which are not play things, then climbed in Maven's baby bed and was playing with my milk pump - which is also very much not a play thing. In TWO MINUTES this had happened! If I had waited any longer she would have made a pipe bomb and thrown in at the next poor driver going down our street. After she helped me clean up made more of a mess, the kids were supposed to eat breakfast. She was being very quiet and still on the couch. Duh to me! But, seriously, what mom hasn't let her kid make a mess just because it gives a few more minutes of peace? Only this wasn't a mess... She had eaten half a container of gummy vitamins. AND! She was freaking mad at ME for taking them away because she said she wasn't done yet! Excuse me?!?!?!?!?! I really think she has her eyes set on Guiness's "World's Most Indigestible Objects in a Small Person Without Needing a Stomach Pump" award. (That is an award. I looked it up. No, not really.) Surely she is about accomplished there. After she ate all the vitamins and breakfast, she fed Bam. An entire package of dog treats. Every single one. And, it was a unopened box. Maybe he is going for a record, too. Later in the day, the kids had popcorn. Tay had popcorn, but dumped out every bit and then pounded it into my carpet. She was laughing and having a great time as she danced (literally) around on the kernels. Its moments exactly like this when I have a hard time getting on to her. I look at her with her huge smile and contagious laugh and hate to flip that 180 degrees into an ear piercing cry and hurt feelings (maybe for the both of us). She really wasn't trying to just be mean or destructive, she was really just having fun and being curious. But, she also is sooo not a cleaner. I have been in battles with her that lasted over an hour. In the end, the mess was bigger than what it started. No kidding. It is possible. Take this, for example:
This mess of noodles started out only half as big. Then it grew. After 45 minutes, this is all she had cleaned up:
And this was her:
Even chalk with her friends turns into a mess:
Or playing in the backyard:
Not long ago, I walked in her room and asked "What is that smell?!"She said "Its me. My hiney."
"Your hiney?!?!?!"
"Yeah. Its my hiney. It smells gross."
I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. I was referring to the chapstick she had rubbed all over her face, but its always good to know how her hiney smells.
This may have been the same day, I can't remember. My life is a blur. But, not long ago (again), I heard CK laughing a lot. Usually that means Tay is doing something completely obsurd. I saw her through the backdoor hopping around like an animal that had just been hit on its head... only she was also smiling like a lunatic. In her hand was a baggie filled with water. I opened the door and she said "I have a froggy! See my froggy?" - she said this with her eyes wildly large and a freakishly tight smile, just like a lunatic. Christian hollered between laughs "Its POOOOOOP!!!". I looked at the bag, realized who I was dealing with, and then made her go wash her hands. She had a little dried up dog turd in a bag filled with water, which was running down her arm, pretending she had a freaking frog. Who does that?!
Like I always say, its a good thing she is balanced out with my good looks and a dash of my sweetness cuz we have misplaced the receipt for her.
Listen to that sweet little voice. Adorable!!!
I told Ryan that I think God is going to take pity on us when our kids are teenagers.
For serious, y'all! And it was enough to stomp around on.
This was Maven's first time to experience snow!
See that jacket above that Tay is wearing? I didn't notice at first when Ryan dressed them, but after I went outside I realized what she was wearing. That jacket is a size 3-6 MONTHS!!!!! Her arms were stiff and her shoulders had no movement. If she had fallen off that slide, she fully would've had to rely on her face to catch her. She was about as useful as a T-Rex in that coat. Think Tommy Boy, here.
Tay thought it'd be fun to jump on the frozen trampoline. No one bothered to tell her that frozen things don't stretch.
(Ryan's mom thought I called her "chicken pie", so now we do call her chicken pie sometimes.)
(This trick was done waaay back in December, but I am just now putting it up)
And, I put holes in her head, er... ears!
Nice bling, baby.
This is one of my favorites of the new tricks that Maven does:
She likes jumping on the bed! How cute is that? How obvious is it that I am molding, almost enabling, another rumpunctious kid? Seriously... maybe this is why the others run around like ferral cats. Its like its encouraged in our house.
This one is pretty cute, too:
Who hasn't done this and thought it was totally AWESOME?!
Waaaaa-hoo!!!!! Party like a rockstar's mom!!! We went to the neighbor's house and played games. This was seriously my idea of an awesome party. I.am.old. Hello, my name is old.
We had zero ambition to go out. I didn't even blow-dry my hair! Sometimes, my hair determines our plans. Like, if its clean and nice, I might go out... but only to a non-smoking establishment. But, if I have to wash my hair, blow dry it, and straighten it, plus put makeup on... uh-uh. We are staying home in pj's.
The kids looked cute, so I documented it:
CK realized after I took, like, TEN pictures that his pose might embarrass him later.
I did fun Christmas cards this year. The making of these cards had me in one of those uncontrollable moments where I can't do anything but ball over in silent laughter. Ryan didn't find it all so funny, which made it even funnier to me.
We went to Timbuctoo and back for Christmas. It felt like we circled the world a few times. Kids seem to make 30 minute trips take an hour, but feel like an eternity. And, no matter how clean the car starts out, it looks like a tornado of crackers crumbs, shoes, and boogers whooshed through my car. No matter how clean my kids might be, somehow my window slurps off any bit of grease from their hands.
Here is Maven opening her very first Christmas present ever! Thank you, Bonnie!
We actually went to San Antonio, not Timbuctoo. We stayed in Boerne, ventured over to Helotes, and went to San Antonio for the day. Then we rushed back Christmas Eve night after my aunt's annual party in order to have our FIRST Christmas morning at home. I know the kids don't know what day Christmas is, so we could've done this any morning... but I am sooo not patient. I have a habit of getting overly excited about a week or two before Christmas. We will have been known to be in mid-conversation as my brain's light bulb turns on with "Let's open just one present"... which always leads to all presents. I am an excited giver. I can't wait to see how happy everyone around me gets. So, I knew if I kept telling myself that this year we were going to do our first tradition Christmas, I would wait. Plus, we had a HUGE trick in our Santa bag. This little, er tiny, guy we named Tank.
Here are a few pics of the babies opening their presents:
We didn't get them a whole lot this year. Mainly the puppy and a few cheap little things. The coolest present they got were these:
Tools in the very own little toolboxes. Christian was sooooo...
EXCITED! Tay was super frustrated that she couldn't open her box.
Ryan got them some old electronics from Goodwill so they could take them apart and tinker around. Christian ran up and gave his daddy a HUGE hug right away.
Tay got a James Avery cross necklace.
And Maven got a James Avery ring just like her sister got for first Christmas.
Christian's school put on a Christmas pageant. I was laughing so incredibly hard. I guess part of it was nerves and the other part was how awful Christian was doing at the hand movements. He is used to being the "cool kid", so he wasn't about to stoop down and do "nerdy" things like hand dancing. (Think Napolean Dymanite doing his butterfly) He did, however, NAIL his speaking lines. And he looked like a rockstar... you know, all the important stuff. Hand dancing, eh, not so important.
Almost our whole family came to watch (that is a LOT, too). My mom was sick, so she had to miss out.I used CK's phone to take most of the pictures, but it was broken shortly after. So, I don't have many pics. *Tear
Here is the show, divided into a few videos (these may or may not be in order. I will keep you guessing to make it more exciting):
*Just for the record, Tay fell down those stairs. It just wouldn't be right if she didn't.
We went on to the XTO Christmas party. I almost didn't go. I was in a funk, tired, and a full-time mom. (I probably could've just said mom and that would've been 'nuff said) I sucked it up and went because I knew there would be these bad boys...
I can eat mounds of these. For serious, y'all.
We had to take awkward pics. It is, afterall, what we do the very best in life.
Somewhere out there in the world of professional event photography are two decent normal-ish pictures of Ryan and me. I am sure they were stolen, framed, and are now hanging in some stranger/genius's bathroom.
Aside from the Margarita Ball and the XTO Christmas party, we also had the annual LaPlace wine glass exchange party and our own annual Christmas dinner party. The pictures have been destroyed to remove all evidence. Just kidding (partially)... we were all having waaaay too much fun to think about pictures.
We had more than I can handle a few Christmas festivities this year. We started out classy at the sushi restaurant.
Then ventured on to the Margarita Ball. We sipped on some bad margaritas and did some even worse dancing. Bad dancing is my thing. Totally. Roger Rabbit, Cabbage Patch, Running Man, the Sprinkler... and now Gangnam Style. You can tell by my face below that I rule them all!
