This Tayle Keeps on Going...

There are many, many posts about Taylor Rose on this thing.  She is sort of my blog celebrity.  Her little life is so much more interesting than the rest of our's.  Unless you want to read about my life of hiney wiping, dog herding, and kid wrangling.
All in one single day, Tay had done ooooh so many things to get under my skin. 
The kids always watch PBS Kids in the morning.  She intentionally stood on the coffee table directly in front on CK to block his view of the t.v.  When he moved over on the couch, she would move over on the coffee table.  When he hollered at her, she'd holler back.  Let me tell you how much that is NOT music to this non-morning person's ears.  So, I put her in her room for timeout (more for me than her).  After about 2 minutes, I went in to check on her.  She had pulled all of her thumbtacks off of her cork board, maybe hoping to booby-trap me.  She had climbed on top of her dresser (which is tall) and pulled everything off of the top - all of which are not play things, then climbed in Maven's baby bed and was playing with my milk pump - which is also very much not a play thing.  In TWO MINUTES this had happened!  If I had waited any longer she would have made a pipe bomb and thrown in at the next poor driver going down our street.  After she helped me clean up made more of a mess, the kids were supposed to eat breakfast.  She was being very quiet and still on the couch.  Duh to me!  But, seriously, what mom hasn't let her kid make a mess just because it gives a few more minutes of peace?  Only this wasn't a mess... She had eaten half a container of gummy vitamins.  AND! She was freaking mad at ME for taking them away because she said she wasn't done yet!  Excuse me?!?!?!?!?!
I really think she has her eyes set on Guiness's "World's Most Indigestible Objects in a Small Person Without Needing a Stomach Pump" award.  (That is an award.  I looked it up.  No, not really.)  Surely she is about accomplished there.
After she ate all the vitamins and breakfast, she fed Bam. 
An entire package of dog treats. 
Every single one. 
And, it was a unopened box.
Maybe he is going for a record, too.
Later in the day, the kids had popcorn.  Tay had popcorn, but dumped out every bit and then pounded it into my carpet.  She was laughing and having a great time as she danced  (literally) around on the kernels. Its moments exactly like this when I have a hard time getting on to her.  I look at her with her huge smile and contagious laugh and hate to flip that 180 degrees into an ear piercing cry and hurt feelings (maybe for the both of us). She really wasn't trying to just be mean or destructive, she was really just having fun and being curious. 
But, she also is sooo not a cleaner.  I have been in battles with her that lasted over an hour.  In the end, the mess was bigger than what it started.  No kidding.  It is possible.
Take this, for example:

This mess of noodles started out only half as big.  Then it grew.  After 45 minutes, this is all she had cleaned up:

 

And this was her:

Even chalk with her friends turns into a mess:

 

Or playing in the backyard:

 

Not long ago, I walked in her room and asked "What is that smell?!"She said "Its me.  My hiney." 

"Your hiney?!?!?!"

"Yeah.  Its my hiney.  It smells gross."

I laughed so hard I could barely breathe.  I was referring to the chapstick she had rubbed all over her face, but its always good to know how her hiney smells.

 

This may have been the same day, I can't remember.  My life is a blur.  But, not long ago (again), I heard CK laughing a lot.  Usually that means Tay is doing something completely obsurd.  I saw her through the backdoor hopping around like an animal that had just been hit on its head... only she was also smiling like a lunatic.  In her hand was a baggie filled with water.  I opened the door and she said "I have a froggy!  See my froggy?" - she said this with her eyes wildly large and a freakishly tight smile, just like a lunatic.  Christian hollered between laughs "Its POOOOOOP!!!".  I looked at the bag, realized who I was dealing with, and then made her go wash her hands.  She had a little dried up dog turd in a bag filled with water, which was running down her arm, pretending she had a freaking frog.  Who does that?!

 

Like I always say, its a good thing she is balanced out with my good looks and a dash of my sweetness cuz we have misplaced the receipt for her.

 

Listen to that sweet little voice.  Adorable!!!

 

  I told Ryan that I think God is going to take pity on us when our kids are teenagers.