Getting Wacky with all this Mathy

Wacky for Waco, and mathy cuz I put a lot of + and = in this post.  Fun stuff, I tell ya!

We go to Waco a lot. Like, nearly-three-times-a-month a lot.
Actually, we have plans to move out to some acreage near Waco.  Yeehaw!
My second cousin, her husband, and their three kids (who are my kids' forth cousins.  How's that for knowing family?!) live in the Waco area.  So, when get go down there, we stay with them in their "hotel" house.  Seriously.  I've never seen so many places to sleep in a house or so many people coming in and out of a house. 
They also have over 20 chickens, a prairie dog, two small dogs, two teeny tiny dogs, a Persian cat, a Himalayan cat, two kittens, two hermit crabs, fish and a shrimp (though, the fish disappeared and the shrimp looks suspiciously plump) a green parrot (Its probably not even a parrot.  But, its green and it has wings and it makes A LOOOOOOOT of noise.  That = parrot to me.), a rat, a turtle, huge Koi fish, five ducks, and about 498 stuffed animals that all end up on the floor when we come over. 
They don't live on property.  Well, two acres.  But in a residential area. 
Somehow, their zoo is miraculously and exhaustingly all kept under wraps, though.
Six kids in one house, plus that aforementioned zoo, makes for a very calm house when we visit.
NOT!

Kelson once completely chopped down a banana tree and Tay ate it.  Little did she know, banana leaves are very spicy.  I thought she was poisoned by the way she was acting!  Luckily, Google came to the rescue with its banana leaf wisdom and saved us a trip to the E.R.
 
Kids + wheeled desk chair + slippery garage floor = fun, amiright?
Actually, it goes more like this... Tay + wheeled desk chair + destiny = GIANT hematoma
Ever seen this movie?  It should star Tay.

I literally thought her brain was protruding from her forehead. I kid not.  I called a doctor friend that was just down the road.  (His daughter was sort of "babysitting" all of our kids, so it made sense) 
Kelli turned green and almost passed out.  Bonnie panicked and couldn't look at it. 
I needed my supermom cape.
No, it was serious.  I really thought it was baaaaad.  When a mass the size of a tennis ball cut in half comes out of a forehead, that means no bueno.  I could literally see it growing.  I put some frozen peas (Or broccoli.  We weren't thawing it for dinner, so I didn't pay much attention.) on it and she laid her head on me.  Pugs are sooo cute, but I never wanted my daughter to resemble one.

Her eyes were starting to look really far apart and her forehead was huge. 
But, then, it started to go down.  Greg (the doc) came over to check her out. 
She was fine, just funny looking for a few days.

The grownups were all hanging out, drinking a few beers.  Not all wild and irresponsible, just chit chatting a little bit.  The kids were keeping themselves occupied.  The next morning, Ryan sees Christian with a beer.  He asked him what was going on.  (I am sure he said more than that)  After some hefty briefing, I discovered that the boys had occupied themselves the night before by DRINKING OUR BEER.  (They split one whole beer, to be exact.  But tried, spit out, and dumped many.)
I didn't know if I should be angrier that they drank a beer or that they wasted so many because they thought they were "bad".  Turns out, they liked my apple cider beer, but Ryan's cheap Lonestar beer had gone "bad".
Now, before you go shaking your finger, you should know that the beer fridge is in the garage, which is where the kids were playing.  We figured they knew better (and didn't think they knew how to work a bottle opener).

Tay let her same-age cousin smell her hiney.  More than once.
(This could possibly be because Bonnie tells the kids they need a bath because they have "stinky hiney".  I have been known to say this, too.)

Christian invented the "naked game" to play with his almost-same-age-not-same-gender cousin.  We told him it was inappropriate.  (Why is this something that every kid does??  Different name, same game.)

We walked around 42 acres.  There was one single fresh human 3"x3"ish terd pile (no bathrooms, and duty called for a kiddo) there on that FORTY TWO acres. 
Ryan found it.  With his shoe.  And he was unaware for waaaaay too long.
It was a humid day, so everything was wet and sticky.
So, it spread.  Onto his other shoe.  And his pants. 
You might be thinking it was on a high traffic trail or something.  No, there are no trails.  Nothing is high traffic there.  
Are we seeing where Tay gets her luck?
Bonnie and I had been smelling it for a while.  Human feces is a very recognizable smell.  Ryan was completely oblivious. 
When we finally discovered it, we also discovered that there's nothing to wipe a human terd off of your shoes in a cactus field except for a cactus.
And cactus = thorns.  Terd thorns.

Other than the creepy and scary stuff, we have a really good time.

(they caught minnows and crawfish at the pond across the street)