Girls

I took Tay with me to get a pedicure.
Everyone was all "OH.MY.GOSH.  She is sooooo cute!". 
I was all "Thank you.  But just wait."
(Sometimes it makes me nervous when people tell me my kids are cute or well behaved.  Then I feel like they're watching us.  That is a lot to live up to.  And we never do live up to it for more than maybe 3 minutes.  Then I feel like we've let them down.  I think my kids my need to wear disclaimer signs or something.)
So, she had a huge audience, as usual with Tay.
The other customers were all talking to her asking her for her name, birthday, age... all the things that are weird to ask grown people.  Unless you're looking for immediate identity theft.
We went over to pick out nailpolish.  Tay broke a neon pink with glitter polish on the ground.  It splattered EVERYWHERE.  It must've been a Mary Poppins bottle because waaaay more polish spilled all over the place than what appeared to be in that bottle pre breakage.  And this was waaaay more neon than it looked.  I looked at the ground, the display case, the curtains, and the chairs, which were all glowing with pink splatter. 
The girl assured me that it was okay.  But, I've tried to scrub glitter polish off of my toes plenty of times.  I know better. That stuff is almost permanent.
She let us cut in line and took us to our massage chairs.
Tay's head hit right in the middle of the chair, so everytime the massaging roller ball came up, her head would bounce back and fourth.  I thought it was hilarious!  She changed the settings to "pound", which is supposed to mimic hands doing a karate chopping motion.  I knew what was coming, and started laughing before it even came.  Her head looked like a jackhammer.  I was cracking up at this point.
She tried to get away from it and fell out of the chair. 
Three of the Asian ladies came over to help.  They probably said something in Asianese about how I didn't stop and render aid to my own child.  But, I was helpless.  I can barely hold my bladder when I am laughing like that, much less help a 30 pound child get up.
So, they fixed her.  And they commented on how heavy she is.  I knodded.  Then she fell out of the chair again.  For no reason.
Fast forward....
Her nails were painted.  Mine were done.  We were leaving and she was barefoot.  She stepped into the ONLY water/mud puddle in the entire parking lot.  ON PURPOSE.  It hadn't rained.  So, it was probably some kind of chemical or urine.  I did what I could with a single baby wipe. 
Maybe we will try again when she is 14.