Futbal

• soccer mom noun

A middle-aged, overprotective woman, usually the mother of two children with names like Britney, Brandon, Caitlyn, Austin, etc. She is usually blonde (often bleached) and has average to above average looks (the latter usually being also a "trophy wife").
She lives in the suburbs, doesn't work (may become an obnoxious realtor after the kids go off to college), and spends an inordinate amount of time at her kids' schools, usually to the chagrin of the teachers and/or administrators.
She is the reason, and the ONLY reason, why "Kids Bop" has a market because she wouldn't dare let her precious children listen to the actual versions of Top 40 radio.
She drives a gas guzzeling SUV embossed with soccer decals on the rear window. If her husband is particularly successful (usually an overpaid attorney), she drives the higher end version of said SUV (such as the GMC Denali or a Lexus RX 330) so as to show all the more middle income SMs that she is just a bit better than they are.

Technically I am a "soccer mom", once again (imagine me saying this with the little finger quote thingy and an eye roll).  But, I am soooo NOT a soccer mom.  Except for the SUV part.  And the not working part.  And the suburbs part.  Other than that, no way.

Ryan, however, is totally a soccer dad!  Obviously, since he has been playing soccer since before he was in diapers.  (Hhhmmm... does that really make sense?)  He has a great team this year.  All of his kids play really well.  Surely Ryan's superb coaching skills have something to do with that!  They have won every game.  (Yes, it is one of those leagues that don't keep score, but the parents DO.)

Christian is doing totally AWESOME again this season.  He has scored in every single game.  A lady in the bleachers said "who does #7 belong to?"  I replied, "He is mine."  She said, "Oh... he's good.  Really good!  Has he been playing for a while?"  I didn't point out the fact that he is only five so he really hasn't been playing all that long. 

A few other people have commented on how fast he is.  I want to tell them "Yeah!  I know how ridiculously quick he is... I have to try to catch him when he is in trouble." 

Aside from being good, Christian is also being rough.  *sigh*  A few weeks back, the opposing team was running all over our team and pushing the kids.  Their coach didn't say anything.  Christian got tired of it and punched a kid in his shoulder, making him cry.  Their coach got all mad.  He said something to Ryan. Ryan told him to watch his kids.  The ref got involved.  Christian was pulled out for a little bit.  Blah, blah, blah.  Is this really a kids' game??!!

Last week, Christian pushed a kid.  I really don't think he meant to push him down, just out of the way so he could get the ball.  Nonetheless, he was benched.  Hopefully, he learned his lesson.  We shall see.

A mom was making breakfast of fried eggs for her young son.
Suddenly, the boy bursts into the kitchen...
"Careful!! Careful!! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them. TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh My! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful!...CAREFUL! I said CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy! Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!"
The mom stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't now how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The son calmy replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm trying to play soccer."

These are a few pictures that a team parent took during a soccer game.

And a few of Taylor Rose at the soccer game...