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Thursday, December 13, 2012

About the other kid...

I don't write enough about Maven.  I can't blame myself, because she was pretty uneventful up until recently.  I mean, what is there to say about an infant that doesn't move around or talk? 
She does like baths.  A lot.  And its really cute.


 
 And...
She sleeps with her mouth open, which is also really cute.

I love when she does this in her sleep. (She was sleeping in the car, so ignore the LOUD background music.  We were jamming out.)
 
Maven jams out, too.

But...
This is much, much cooler.

That is the first day she crawled forward.  She has improved a lot since then.  She actually crawled backwards for over a month.  Now that she is a pro, she likes to get into things, pull over trash cans, and eat trash. 
We let her get into things.  She is so sweet about it.  She looks at us with her big ol' eyes and we cave.  Maybe this is where we went wrong with Tay.  Hhhhmmmm.....
But, could YOU say no to this face?




 

Another Tayle

Another story about Tay?  Seriously?
Yep.
And I don't post every story.  I do have other things to do... plus, they're not all appropriate.  Most of them embarrass or gross the crap out of Ryan.  He has specifically asked that I not share every.single.story with him.  (Filtering is not my strong suit.)
As I have said before, her morning hair is so suiting.
 
She enjoys destroying.  Anything.  She is not discriminatory when it comes to what she will tear up.  Her own head fell victim when she went to ruin her hairdo. You'd think this hurt! I understand completely, though... my mom has a massive clump of hair that I ripped out as a kid. She has it in my baby book.  Though, my destructiveness didn't extend past my own hair. 

 
She starts out so cute every morning.

 
Then, by lunch time, she looks like this - no matter the weather.  (This is one of her "in trouble" faces)

She likes to ask me really random questions or make really odd demands.  Just yesterday she started screaming at me in the car "This is the wrong store!  Noooooo!  This is not the right store!!!".  She also said "I need to go tee tee.  We need to go to the Cowboys.  I will tee tee on their numbers again.  I need to."(She peed on the 50 yard line when we were there).  Other times she will say things like "Maven needs to eat your boob."  Or, she will wake up from a dead sleep at 12:00 am, whining "I waaaant to go swimmmming!!"
So, I usually don't have a quick response.  It takes me a minute to register what she just said and it takes me a bit to come up with a response. 
Her response to my lack of response is "Mom!  Talk!".  So, a lot of times I just say "oh".  Then she says "Don't say 'oh'!".  Which makes me laugh more.  So she says "Don't laugh!".  I don't really know what to do after that.  I've already given it my all.  I need a bag of cookies to keep in my hand.  She won't talk if she has food.
She is also clumsy.  Or careless.  I should say careless because she can do some things with grace.  Her she is using her coordination:

But, most times she does some really uncoordinated things.  Yesterday, she was standing at the end of her bed.  Just standing there.  Suddenly, her feet shot backwards under her bed and she fell forward to the ground.  Random accidents like that are part of her life.  At dinner the other night (almost every night) her chair fell over with her in it.  We were in public.  A few night ago she knocked over the entire table.  We were in public, again.  It shot food and tea all over the floor.  She was completely unfazed.  Its become the norm for her. 
Its a good thing she is so friggin' cute and sweet.
 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Dressup for Grownups

Ryan and I partook.
We dressed up.
We went out.
We didn't trick or treat.

I don't make it a habit to match Ryan for Halloween.  We don't even do couples' costumes.  But this year, when I told him I wanted to be the joker, he asked "Heath or Jack?".  I said, "chic Jack".  He told me it'd be cool to be Heath.  So, that is how this came about.  It was easy, and except for my jacket and shirt, we had all the stuff.
My second choice was Honey Boo Boo.  But, I didn't have my tutu yet.


Shane was this LMFAO dude.  I have rights to this photo since those ARE my tights, and I am pretty sure he isn't wearing underwear.  Plus, he probably farted in them.

I gave 200+ pound Eric a piggy back ride just because I am nice. 
He had a harder time than I did.
 
He dressed as Big Tex, the aftermath.
 
 Ryan and I were very good about jumping into character for photos.  See Exhibit A.
 
 Exhibit B.
 
 But, then the sibling love came out and I did a booger check.
 
 And we raided Mark's car.  For what?  Goggles, perhaps.  We don't know.  We were hiding... but no one was seeking.
 
 Kyle found us.  But, he didn't want to play.
 
 Casey played, though.  I don't know what his costume was, but I am sure it had something to do with a stuck out tongue and a Cowboys cup.  Judging from my expression, it was horrifying.
 
 One last booger check and we left.  (I think Ryan might be gambling in the background here.  I never saw a cent of his winnings, nor did he mention losing.  Hhhmmm...)
 
This is what happens when locked up in doors with children all day every day - let her out on a full moon night and she's a feral beast without a need for alcohol.  Though, I did have some yummo whitetrash wine in a plastic cup.  Lambrusco Riunite all the way, baby.

 

Candy please, but hold the PCP.

Remember when we were little and our parents would plead with us to check our candy before we ate it and never, ever eat anything that had already been opened.  "There could be drugs in there!", they'd warn.  Now that I am older and actually know how money and business work, I don't think any drug dealers are going to give free samples to pint-sized Barney dinosaurs or tweenaged zombies.  What's the payoff?  Its not like they'd get to witness them running in circles to chase their hallucinated tail or see them licking their elbows (my kids can and do).  Still, would it even be obvious?  Maybe they'd cook dinner and not lick their elbows, then it'd be totally out of the ordinary.
You'd be safe to bet that I don't worry about drugs in my kids' Halloween buckets.   
As we went around the neighborhood collecting perfectly legal ways to get the kids high (sugar), the kids were dressed up accordingly.  I guess in a way, CK was dressed as a dealer - the Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka, the dealer of all candy dealers.  His lab chemists, Taylor Rose and Maven, went as old-school Oompa Loompas. 

They were the cutest bunch I saw all night, in my totally unbiased opinion.




Ryan stayed back to man the house and pass out candy.  My mom and I rotated stroller shifts.  I lost count as to how many times Taylor Rose fell out of or off of the stroller.  Here she is about to bite it:



There comes a point when these incidents are so ordinary that we (as in, those who are around her all the time) just keep going and don't pay any attention to the passersby who are staring in horror as we just ignored our little child plummet to the ground from a moving transportation device.  Sometimes they run over to help her up.  They never quite make it soon enough because she bounces.  Quickly.  As soon as she hits the ground, she pops back up, makes a funny noise, and hops (literally) back over to us.  Sometimes she goes right back to doing what she was doing before that made her fall, or other times she run to me and sits on my foot with a tight grip on my leg as I walk.  (Imagine a koala-bear-on-a-tree type thing) I prefer the first option because then, at least, I can keep my pants up.  Other times, people will holler at me to let me know what just happened, as if it'd even be possible NOT to know.  She is not a subtle child.  Everything she does is widely known. 
I can remember some details from a few of her many falls on our four street walk.  Once: she fell forward out of the rear-facing end of the stroller (its a tandem one), was almost stepped on, and then fell again as she was trying to get up.  Another one: she stepped into the ONLY hole a guy had in his yard (the meter hole).  Then:  She fell chasing after Christian - this one counts at least 12 times.  Also:  She fell picking up candy off of the ground.
So, anyway, we rotated shifts.  The excitement wore off on the second street, but we pushed it to four streets.  It was fine that it didn't last long.  One of Tay's falls was so ridiculous - I asked where Tay went, turned left, and hit her in the eye with my camera.  Oops!  I turned the other way, only to hit her in the other eye with my camera.  She stood there with both hands over both eyes, blind, as she stepped backwards and fell over the curb, still blind - that, after laughing in uncontrollable mute hysterics, we realized we really needed a potty break.  We finished up the loop around and came back home with our stash. 
It.was.alot.  I mean, we still have 95% of it.  I sent CK to school with a gallon-sized Ziploc bag full of candy THREE times, and we still have tons left over!  I guess I will take one for the team, bite the bullet here and single handedly ingest the remains.  My family will surely thank me.

We gave Maven a piece of plain non HFCS chocolate.  She really liked it!
 We really liked giving it to her, too.  Because then we could all laugh at this:
(She has strong gag reflexes like her momma and sibs)

I also have pictures galore
Here is my collection of Tay pics, as I attempted to get her to just look at me:









My mom held Maven up for me so I could get a shot of her whole outfit. Maven looks thin to me in the shots.  Poor baby girl.  She had an ear infection and wouldn't eat much for almost two weeks.

 CK kept his entire costume on until he reached the neighbor's house, who live directly across the street from us.  Then, bit by bit, he removed an article of clothing until he was down to just a button up and jeans.  (Hello, Texas weather!  Its fall!)  I always secretly snarl at the kids that come to my door without a costume. I felt it was my obligation to explain his costume to every homeowner, but I gave up after a few uninterested glares.  So, I bet he got some snarls that night.